So, I hate the gym. For numerous reasons that I will not go into right now. Anyway, I hardly ever go, but ever since I signed up (for the 503048th time) for a membership Lou dog has been bugging me to go. So I go, sometimes. This is a true story, and I don’t know if anyone else will find this as horrifying as I did, but bare with me. I’m still new to this blogging thing.
Louie likes to do all of his muscle lifting thingys while I do cardio. I don’t pay attention to him, mainly because I rent movies on itunes and watch them so I don’t have to think about how much I loathe being at the gym. Then, when he’s done doing that he finds me and we do ab workouts together.
This is how it went:
Hey baby, I have your mat and ball over here, let’s do abs and we can get out of here.
Ugh I hate abs. I hate this place, and I forgot my towel so I’m super sweaty and angry and I want to punch you in the face right now.
Come on, you can do it. You have to push past this and just keep on sweating. There is never enough sweat.
Seriously? Shut your mouth and give me your towel so I can wipe my face off. I look like I’m melting.
*grabs towel and wipes face thoroughly*
Gross, your towel smells like old feet and grandpa balls.
Why do you have that dumb look on your face right now? Is my boob hanging out again?
I don’t use that towel to wipe sweat from my face.
Well, what the FUCK do you use it for?
I use it to wipe down the machines and benches after I use them.
HOW COULD YOU WAIT UNTIL AFTER I USED YOUR DIRTY SMELLY TOWEL ALL OVER MY FUCKING FACE TO TELL ME THAT??
…………. I’m sorry?
– So, that was my night. I’ve washed my face about 5 times since then and I still feel dirty. As much as I love my husband, sometimes I think his brain doesn’t work quite right. He may be a finance wiz kid and be in a masters program, but this is testimony that brains and common sense do not go together.